On My Own,

Now Playing; Someone Like You by Adele

I swear, my iPod is psychic sometimes. It's like it knew relationships have constantly been on my mind and I was therefore going to blog about it. So now you know what this one's about; love.

I was taking a shower today (face it, a shower is 30% singing, 10% showering, and 60% thinking about life!) and I found myself stuck on the idea of relationships. I found myself reminiscing on my past boyfriends and wondering, "What if I was still with them? Would my life be different? What would things be like if I had never met them?" Obviously, they've all played important roles in my life. Most of them have started off being my best friend and I'm so thankful all of them have been in my life. But I can't help but wonder if having them hurt me as much as it helped.

From the second semester of my freshman year to first quarter of senior year, I was single for maybe a month. In that time, I dated 3 really wonderful guys and made some really amazing memories and fell in love. But then, in September, I got my heart broken. And ever since then, I've been scared. Scared to open my heart to another relationship, scared to fall again. But at the same time, I didn't really know what to do with myself. I was good at being a couple. Brokenhearted, I was forced to face the hardest question in life; "Who am I?" I had to learn to find myself outside of a relationship. I was on my own. It was the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn. I'm still not exactly sure who I am. But I'm slowly learning. I'm less scared. I'm opening up. I've learned to take things slow. I've learned that I can be alone and be happy. I have amazing friends, a wonderful family, and so much to be thankful for.

So, I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't change a thing about my love life. I've broken hearts, I've had my own broken, I've fallen in and out of love and it's all made up part of who I am. And now I know that relationships don't define me, they're just one small piece of the puzzle that is my life. And someday, I'll get my fairy tale.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you.

I wish nothing but the best for you too.

Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said,

Sometimes in lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.